New year has been miserable.
Friends who noe e situation i m in could understand and respected my decisions, but i just cant understand why some of my relatives just cant. Especially the very close ones. All e more they should understand and respect us but NO!...They are simply so childish and narrow-minded and made a big hoo-ha bout it dat they influenced my mum and she is simply not talking to us now and just venting her anger on us. It got me so upset that i wrote a very long letter in e end to explain the rationale behind my sis's and my decision, hoping she can understand. It is sad to think that my own mum is not standing on e same line as us...i tried to communicate with her through e letter simce she didnt want to talk to us, but she choose not to respond by not reading e letter. wateva.
Its e first time i spent new year in misery, tearing in e confines of my room.
WHY? why cant they just respect our decision!?
Look? who wouldnt want to celebrate e new year? you think i will want to be cooped up in the damn house? but its e first new year and customs doesnt allow us to celebrate. but They insisted on us going over to their place and when in e end we decidied not to, they got angry wif us and made it into a big matter. At times i tell myself hack with the customs and just go to pacify my mum and the rest, but another part of me just wouldnt allow me to, which is e luv and respect for my grandma and when her deathbed scene sufaces in my mind, all e more i couldnt bring myself to go against e customs. They werent at my grandma's deathbed they will never noe how i feel...if they cant give her respect when she's alive then cant they at least give her some respect in her death? Come on! we can celebrate new year in e later years that come too but mourning is just 1 yr and cant she just sacrifice that 1 yr? My mum insisted on going in e end but we didnt stop her and we respected her decision so why cant she just respect ours? She got so angry and say we are not being fillial to my uncle and aunt and she said she will ask them to stop treating my sis and i so good. its liike huh? dats not e point!..my uncle and aunt are so narrow minded so be it,but there goes my mum following them..
I m just so totally upset, miserable and disappointed...
-sad-
